Funny Karachi

Sardar Joke

What do you call a sardar who has only one drink? Just-one Singh.

What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer? Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff.
Why can't Sardars make ice cubes? They always forget the recipe.
Why do Sardars work seven days a week? So you don't have to re-train them on Monday

Q. Why can't Sardar dial 911?
A. They can not find the eleven on the phone
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Q. What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
A. He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!
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Q. What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper?
A. As he has already one with him, he takes a photocopy of the white paper !!!
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Q. Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
A. Because below 18 was not allowed.
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Q. How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
A. Stick a tyre pressure gauge in his ear.
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Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
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Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
A. Run like crazy….he's got a hand grenade in his
mouth.
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Q. How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
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Q. What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A. Trying to hold on to a thought.
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Q. Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
A. So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
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Q. Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
A. They always forget the recipe.
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Q. How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
A. He threw it off a cliff.
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Q. What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A. A wind tunnel.
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Q. What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
A. The back of his head.
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Q. Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
A. They think their picture is being taken.
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Q. Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
A. Toes Go In First.
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Q. How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
A. It has a stamp on it.
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Q. How do you get Sardar on the roof?
A. Tell him the drinks are on the house.
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Q. "Oh, look at the dead bird.
A. " Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?

Bush's Favor

George W. Bush is sitting in a hotel lobby, planning his speech to a group of businessmen, when a little man walks up to him. "Excuse me, Mr. Bush, but my name is Steve Case, and I'm here with an extremely important client tonight. We're going to see your speech tonight, and it would be a great help to me if, when we walk by, you could impress him by saying, 'Hello, Steve'."

Bush readily agrees, and fifteen minutes later, the little man walks by, deep in conversation with his client.

Bush came up and said, "Hello, Steve."

The little man says, "Buzz off, Bush! I'm in a meeting," and keeps walking.

Childhood Of Yore

I want to be a kid again. I want to go back to the time when:

Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."

Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"

"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.

Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in Monopoly.

Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening.

It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.

Being old referred to anyone over 20.

The net on a tennis court was the perfect height to play volleyball and rules didn't matter.

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.

It was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb.

It was unbelievable that dodgeball wasn't an Olympic event.

Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot.

Nobody was prettier than Mom.

Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.

It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park.

Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.

Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare."

Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute ads for action figures.

No shopping trip was complete unless a new toy was brought home.

"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense.

Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.

The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.

War was a card game.

Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.

Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.

Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.

Ice cream was considered a basic food group.

Banner

Funny Computer User

Funny Picture

Becaue I Love U

I am standing in the garden
Watching the sun set on the horizon
Wondering if this will be the night
That you will come to me
Wishing to feel your gaze locked with mine
Your arms holding me
Your lips on mine

And as I stand there I can feel
The heat of your eyes upon me
Turning our eyes meet and hold
We can see the warmth and the desire
As our minds and souls bond as one
Our hearts pound in anticipation

Your eyes draw me to you
Your arms engulf me
Pulling me closer and closer
Until our bodies are touching
You lower your lips to mine
Our kiss tells of our love

A love that flames into passion
A love that has endured all time
A love that is stronger than ever
A love that will sustain us
A love that will nourish us
Through all eternity

For I am yours
And you are mine

Silent Love

From the very Begining, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background
& that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.

Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him:
"How deep is your love for me?"

As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure,
the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas.
Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you.
If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family,
I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"

The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in &
agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.

The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies.
They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control.
When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured.
Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh.
She has lost her voice......

The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort,
but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.

During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it' s still just silence cry that companied her.
Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone.
Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him,
she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.
. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....

The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.

With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy.
One day, her friend came & told her that he's back.
She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.

A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding.
The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.

When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her.
He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language.
Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice.
I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

Meaning Of Mother

ABC Of Parenting

A	lways trust your children to God's care.
B	ring them to church.
C	hallenge them to high goals.
D	elight in their achievements.
E	xalt the Lord in their presence.
F	rown on evil.
G	ive them love.
H	ear their problems.
I	gnore not their childish fears.
J	oyfully accept their apologies.
K	eep their confidence.
L	ive a good example before them.
M	ake them your friends.
N	ever ignore their endless questions!
O	pen your heart to their love.
P	ray for them by name.
Q	uicken your interest in their spirituality.
R	emember their needs.
S	how them the way of salvation.
T	each them to work.
U	nderstand they are still young.
V	erify your statements.
W	ean them from bad company.
X	eXpect them to obey.
Y	earn for God's best for them.
Z	ealously guide them in Bible truth.

All Over Again

Last night I fell in love with you

All over again,

More deeply in love,

Than ever before.

No one has ever expressed their love for me

With such beautiful and kind words.

Last night I fell in love with you

All over again,

With such stronger faith

Than ever before.

Knowing that you will always be there for me

When dark shadows enter my life.

Last night I  fell in love with you

All over again

With a stronger friendship

Than ever before

When ever I need a tender shoulder to cry on

I know you will wipe away the tears

Last night I feel in love with you

All over again

With more respect

Than ever before

I look up to you and admire your strength

In turn you have strengthen me

Last I feel in love with you

All over again

With such care

Than ever before

Now I truly believe how much you care for me

You have given me life.

Last night I fell in love with you

All over again

With more happiness

Than ever before

You have brought back to me smiles and laughter

Through your loving eyes.

Last night I fell in love with you

All over again

With more love

Than ever before

For the first time in a long time

I have really felt love.

Simple One Question Test

This is a simple one question test to prove that we have become too dependent on our
computers.

Question:

Are you male or female?

To find out the answer, look down.....

V
V
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v
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v
v

v
v
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v
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v
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v
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I said, 'look down', NOT 'scroll down'!

Pathan names born in different situations:

Born in Jungle ..........Sher Khan
Born in summer ------- Sharbat Khan
Born during war ------- Barood Khan
Born near ocean ------- Samunder Khan
Born with abnormal features ------- Ajab Khan
Born premature ------- Masti Khan
Born near garden ------- Gul Khan
Born in anger ------- Ghazab Khan
Born in horror ------- Haibat Khan
Born funny ------- Nadia Khan
Born After Sucide Bom ------- Bhadur Khan
Born with talent but no brain ------- Shahid Khan Afridi
Born with Proud of Pakistan-------- Abdul Qadir Khan
Born in Pervaiz Musharaf Goverment ------ Bardasht Khan.

33 Ways To Be A Real Friend

01. Don't worry about knowing people just make yourself worth knowing.

02. Friends are those rarche people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.

03. If you can buy a person's friendship, it is not worth it.

04. True friends have hearts that beat as one.

05. If you cannot think of any nice things to say about your friends, then you have the wrong friends.

06. Make friends before you need them.

07. If you were another person, would you like to be a friend of yours?

08. A good friend is one who neither looks down on you nor keeps up with you.

09. Be friendly with the folks you know€ ¦'¥ if it weren't for them you would be a total stranger.

10. A friend is never known till he is needed.

11. Friendship is a responsibility. ..not an opportunity.

12. Friendship is the cement that holds the world together.

13. Friends are those who speak to you after others don't.

14. The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail and not his tongue.

15. Pick your friends, but not to pieces.

16. A friend is one who puts his finger on a fault without rubbing it in.

17. The way to have friends is to be willing to lose some arguments.

18. If a friend makes a mistake, don't rub it in... rub it out.

19. Deal with other's faults as gently as if they were your own.

20. People are judged by the company they keep and the company they keep away from.

21. A friend is a person who can step on your toes without messing up your shine.

22. The best mirror is an old friend.

23. The best possession one may have is a true friend.

24. Make friendship a habit and you will always have friends.

25. You will never have a friend if you must have one without faults.

26. Doing nothing for your friends results in having no friends to do for.

27. Anyone can give advice, but a real friend will lend a helping hand.

28. You can make more friends by being interested in them than trying to have them be interested in you.

29. A real friend is a person who, when you've made a fool of yourself, lets you forget it.

30. A friend is a person who listens attentively while you say nothing.

31. You can buy friendship with friendship, but never with dollars.

32. True friends are like diamonds, precious but rare; false friends are like autumn leaves, found everywhere.

33. A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.

King of Hearts

[20 Different Food That We Can Add To Our Diet

20 different food types that we can add to our diet, their effects and how they function :

Wholegrain is a great brain stimulator because it contains high percentage of folate. Make sure you are eating a diet

rich in whole grain breads, cereals, popcorns etc,because they can boost your blood flow to the brain.

. Wholegrain Foods

Whole grain is a great brain stimulator because it contains high percentage of folate. Make sure you’re eating a diet rich in whole grain breads, cereals, barley, popcorn, etc., because they can boost your blood flow to the brain. Every organ in the body is dependent on blood flow… especially the brain.

Wholegrain breads and cereals are rich in Vitamin B6, an important brain vitamin. Wheat germ additionally contains memory-improving thiamine.

Nuts

Everything from the most common nuts — such as walnuts, hazelnuts,

cashews and almonds — to the more exotic seeds and nuts can clear

up that “brain fog” and enable you to think clearer and are positive

mood enhancers.

2. Walnuts

Both literally and figuratively speaking, walnuts are “brain food”.

Physically the walnut looks a lot like the human brain. The thin, outer green cover that is taken out before the walnuts are sold is similar to the scalp. The hard shell of a walnut is like a skull. The thin sheet inside, with its paper-like partitions between the two halves of the walnut, is like the membrane. The shape of the walnut itself represents the human brain’s two hemispheres.

Walnuts are made up of 15 to 20 percent protein and contain linoleic (omega-6 fatty acids) and alpha-linoleic acids (omega-3 fatty acids), vitamin E and vitamin B6, making them an excellent source of nourishment for your nervous system.

Omega 3 fatty acids found in walnuts are especially helpful in brain function. Our brain is more than 60% structural fat which needs to be primarily omega-3 fats, found in walnuts and flaxseed, for its cell membranes to function properly. Cell membranes, primarily composed of fats, are the gatekeepers of the cell. Omega-3 fats, flexible and fluid by nature, make it easy for nutrients to pass thru the outer membrane of the cell and also helps remove waste efficiently. Definitely worth it when the cell belongs to your brain, don’t you think?

Walnuts may also help correct the human brain’s seratonin levels. Seratonin is an important brain chemical that controls both our moods and appetite. Walnuts may be able to relieve disorders like insomnia, depression, overeating and other compulsive behavior, commonly treated with antidepressant drugs like Prozac, without the dangerous side effects.

3. Cashews

While you’re in the nut aisle shopping for walnuts be sure to pick up some cashews, almonds, pecans and peanuts too. Each nut can enhance your mental health in its own way. Cashews are high in magnesium, known to open up the blood vessels in your body. More oxygen-rich blood = better brain function.

4. Almonds

Phenylalanine, found in almonds, can do wonders for your mental and neurological health. Phenylalanine has the rare ability to cross the blood-brain barrier where it stimulates the brain to generate natural mood-boosting neurotransmitters called dopamine, adrenaline and noradrenaline. Additionally, almonds are high in riboflavin which is known to boost memory.

5. Pecans

Pecans and peanuts provide choline, another important nutrient for optimal brain function. Choline aids in both memory and brain development.

Berries

6. Blueberries

Eating blueberries and a diet rich in deep pigment from fruits and vegetables helps preserve the brain machinery and boost the potency of neuron signals. Blueberries literally strengthen the brain. They have compounds that turn on key systems in the brain enable other proteins to help with memory or other cognitive skills.

In one recent study, subjects who ate one cup of blueberries a day for two weeks showed an increased birth rate of brain cells in the hippocampus (region responsible for memory), and scored significantly higher in classroom tests than those subjects who did not.

Blueberries are also known to protect the brain from oxidative stress and may reduce the effects of age-related conditions such as Alzheimer’s disease and Dementia. In addition, blueberries also contain ellagic acid, another phytochemical that has been shown to prevent cell damage.

7. Strawberries

Antioxidant- rich strawberries can prevent age-related neurological declines by improving brain cell abilities to send and receive the ’signaling’ molecules. The brain uses these signaling molecules to communicate.

Remarkably, these same studies showed that the powerful antioxidants in strawberries, spinach and blueberries can improve the ability to communicate even among brain cells already showing signs of age-related damage.

8. Blackberries

Blackberries contain an amazing class of nutrients called anthocyanins. Our brain is particularly vulnerable to oxidative damage but anthocyanins help protect our brain from oxidation stress, which in turn fights degenerative brain diseases.

One study even found anthocyanin- rich supplements to reverse age-related neurological deficits in subjects.

Seeds

9. Sunflower Seeds

Like nuts, many seeds and nuts can boost your mood and brainpower. Sunflower seeds contain tryptophan, an important amino acid that the brain converts to seratonin, which is a natural way to relieve mild depression and insomnia. Additionally, sunflower seeds are high in thiamine, an important B vitamin, which increases memory and cognitive function.

10. Pumpkin Seeds

Amazingly, the most powerful part of the pumpkin lies in its least used part. The seeds of the pumpkin are a power food, rich in many nutrients including: Zinc, Vitamin A and E, and the precious Omega 3 and Omega 6 fatty acids. The Zinc found in pumpkin seeds plays a vital role in enhancing memory and thinking skills.

11. Green Tea

Green tea is a wonderful beverage, and when freshly brewed, it enhances memory and focus and fights mental fatigue. Green tea contains catechines, which help you relax mentally, yet also keeps your wits sharpened.

Green Tea also helps maintain positive mood states and fights against many brain disorders. Polyphenols are powerful antioxidants found in green tea that can boost the availability of the important signaling brain substance dopamine in brain circuits. Dopamine is vital in creating positive mood states.

Polyphenols also help the brain and body run smoothly by maintaining a steady supply of our body’s primary fuel: glucose. These powerful polyphenols also help prevent cancer and heart attacks.

12. Eggs

Eggs indeed offer a very impressive nutritional profile for their 70 calories. They are a precious source of high-quality proteins and rich in vitamins and minerals. But there’s more!

Nutrient called choline, found in eggs, can help boost the memory center in the brain. Researchers have found choline to increase the size of neurons, which helps them fire electrical signals more strongly and rebound faster between firings.

Two antioxidants found in egg yolk called lutein and zeaxanthin help prevent the risk of age-related cataracts and macular degeneration, two of the most prevalent age-related eye conditions.

Remember this the next time you open the fridge door. The amazing egg: naturally good.

13. Avocados

For brain health, avocados are nearly as good as blueberries. Avocados contain mono-unsaturated fats, which contribute to healthy blood flow, the main requirement for a healthy brain.

To include avocados to your diet, add 1/4 to 1/2 of an avocado to one meal daily as a side dish.

14. Tomatoes

Lycopene, an amazing antioxidant found in tomatoes, could help protect against free-radical damage to cells, which is believed to be a primary factor in cases of Dementia, and particularly, Alzheimer’s disease.

15. Broccoli

Broccoli is labeled as superfood due to its high overall nutrient content. It is a great source of vitamin K, which enhances cognitive function and improves brainpower.

16. Red Cabbage

Red cabbage is full of an antioxidant called polyphenol. Polyphenols reduce brain cell damage and is especially helpful in the prevention and treatment of Alzheimers’ disease.

17. Eggplant

Eggplant skin contains a nutrient called nasunin which keeps our brain sharp by enhancing communication between our brain cells and messenger molecules. Remembering to use the skin pays tremendous benefits in vastly improved focus.

18. Spinach

Spinach slows down the effects of age-related declines in brain function and helps protect the brain from oxidative stress. Researchers suggest that a diet rich in spinach can significantly improve learning capacity and motor skills.

19. Yogurt

Calcium rich foods such as yogurt, milk and cheese improve nerve function. Yogurt contains an amino acid called tyrosine which is responsible for producing the neurotransmitters dopamine and noradrenalin. In short, yogurt helps improve alertness and memory.

20. Chocolate!!!

What better to end with? It’s hard to believe that anything as incredibly delicious as chocolate can actually be incredibly good for you as well. Dark chocolate has powerful antioxidant properties and contains several natural stimulants which increase the production of endorphins while enhancing focus and concentration. The stimulants found in dark chocolate also improve mood. It has high content of flavanols that facilitate blood supply to the brain and enhance cognitive skills.

Milk chocolate jump starts impulse control and reaction time. It has also been known to improve visual and verbal memory.

More isn’t necessarily better when it comes to chocolate. This is, unfortunately, one superfood that you have to indulge in in moderation.

Conclusion

Our brain is the greediest organ in the body, but its proper nourishment is vital to creative thought, positive mood, memory, and good overall health. It’s no surprise that what you eat affects how you think, feel, remember, and potentially even increase intelligence.

If it’s possible to eat your way to genius, who wouldn’t want to?