Cricketer Wallpapers, Windows Wallpapers, Illustration Wallpapers, Prototype-Gaming Wallpapers, SMS

Cricketers Wallpapers

2009-08-04T02:34:00.000-07:00

Windows 7 Wallpapers

2009-07-02T12:52:00.000-07:00

45 Colorful Wallpapers

2009-07-02T12:43:00.000-07:00

ANNO 1404 New Walllpaers

2009-06-28T13:40:00.000-07:00

Resident Evil gaming wallpapers

2009-06-28T13:34:00.000-07:00

Illustration Wallpapers

2009-06-28T13:25:00.000-07:00

Prototype-Gaming-Wallpapers

2009-06-28T12:56:00.000-07:00

Battlestations-Midway-Gaming Wallpapers

2009-06-28T12:13:00.000-07:00

If windows were to be in Punjabi

2009-06-01T22:05:00.000-07:00

If windows were to be in Punjabi, then you would be using the following commands on your computer:
Send = Sutto
Insert = Wich Paao
Attachement = Naal Laao
Edit = Sidda Karo
View = Waikhee Jaao
Forward = Aggay Sutto
Inbox = Undar Da Daak Khaana
Outbox = Baar Da Daak Khana
Trash = Mitti Paao
Sent Items = Bheji Gayee Dak
Address Book = Patay Wali Kaapy
Reply = Bejan Walay Nu Jawab do
Reply All = Saareyaan Nu Jawab do
Delete = Daffa Karo
Download = Thallay Laao
Download All = Saary Cheezan Noon Thallay Laao
Properties = Jaidaad
Connect = Naal Milaao
Fonts = Likhaai
Accounts = Galla
Drafts = Chitheeyaan
Find = Labbo
Paste = Thook Naal Chipkaao
From = Bhejan Walaa Banda
To = Door Betha Hoya Banda
Subject = Khaas Gall
Carbon Copy = Koelay Walee Naqal
Blind Carbon Copy = Anni Koelay Walee Naqal
Stationery = Pensal, Rubburd, Shaapnar
Folders = Bastey
High priority = Waddee Takleef

and finally

Ctrl+Alt+Delete = Sara Syapa Mukaao..

ME and MY BOSS

2009-03-13T13:40:00.000-07:00

When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough

When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,

When I do something without being told,
I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,

When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
He is cooperating,

When I make a mistake,
I' am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
He's only human.

When I am out of the office,
I am wondering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
He's on business.

When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
He must be very ill.

When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an interview .
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's overworked

When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets

what to do?????????????

Good Morning SMS

2009-03-05T06:15:00.000-08:00

1. Treat everyone with politeness,Even those who are rude to U.....Not b coz they are not nice,But bcoz u are nice....!!!**Good morning**

2. Every bad situation will have something positive...Even a stopped Clock is correct twice a day...Think of this & lead ur life....Good Morning....

3. Open ur eyes! So the SUN can rise,Flowers can blossom....Birds can sing,B coz all are waiting to see ur *B*E*A*U*T*I*F*U*L* @S@M@I@L@E@ Good Morning.....

4. Always ask GOD to give you what you deserve,Not what you desire.Your desires may be few but you deserve a lot.... Good Morning..

5. A Morning is a wonderful blessing,Either stormy or Sunny,It stands for hope,Giving us another start of what we call ...<*L*I*F*E*>...GooD MoRnInG....have A nice dAy.

6. Early this morning God gave me 3 baskets of fruits -

LOVE + HAPPINESS + PEACE OF MIND and told me 2 share them with PPL Dear 2 me. I'm sharing all with U...

Good Morning!

7. Receive my simple gift of Good Morning wrapped with sincerity, Tied with care & sealed with a prayer to keep U safe whole Day!

Good Morning...

8. Daton ko barabar ghis dalne ka moti ke mafik chamka dalne ka hath me cutting chay leke sab friend log ko bol dal "subah ho gayi mamu" Bole to gudwali morning

9. No sweet thoughts to forward,no cute graphics to send,just a....TRUE HEART saying...GOOD MORNING

10. A smile costs less than Electricity,

but gives more light...

Always smile as it is language which everyone understand...

So keep smiling :-)

Good morning!

Sardar SMS Jokes

2009-03-05T06:10:00.000-08:00

Teacher : why are majority of south Indians are dark in color?

Student: Because they watch Sun TV, Surya TV, Udaya TV without applying
sunscreen lotion...... ..

Visit : http://www.karachicorner.com/smspk

************ ********* ******
Teacher to Sardar " Where were U born?
Sardar : In Tiruvanantapuram.
Teacher : Spell it?
Sardar : (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA.

============ ========= ========= =========

Santa : People consider me as a "GOD"
Banta : How do you know??
Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD ! U have came again..

============ ========= ========= =========

Sardar complained 2 Police : Sir all items are missing, except the TV in my house.
Police : How the theif did not take TV???
Sardar : I was watching TV na....

============ ========= ========= =========
Thought for the Day!!!

If you call your mother as MUM.. What will you call Mother's younger sis and elder sis?

Answer : MINIMUM & MAXIMUM

============ ========= ========= =========
Tihar Jail ordered 999 Shirts and 1000 Pants for its inmates.
Tell why this odd combination?

Answer : Bcos SALMAN KHAN is coming and He hardly wear SHIRTs!!!

============ ========= ========= =========
Do you know the similarity between "Dinasaurs" & "Decent Girls"

Answer: Both dont exist on earth !!!

============ ========= ========= =========
When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake?

Answer : On their Wedding !!

============ ========= ========= =========
Whats the height of Intelligence?

Answer : A 99 year old Sardar going for HUTCH ka naya lifetime scheme ...

Funny Sayings - Jokes

2009-02-08T06:33:00.000-08:00

• The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.

********************************************************

• Sometimes when I reflect back on all the ciggarettes I smoked, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the ciggarette & think about the workers in the ciggarette factory & all of their hopes & dreams. If I don't smoke this ciggarette, they might be out of work & their dreams would be shattered, Then I say to myself, it's better that I smoke this ciggarette & let their dreams come true then be selfish & worry about my LUNGS.

********************************************************

• Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.

********************************************************

• My wife thinks "freedom of the press" means no-iron clothes.

********************************************************

• When the best actors are chosen by other actors, it's called the Oscars. When the best actors are chosen by the people, it's called an election.

********************************************************

• A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drove his prize possession...even to the grocery store which was a few blocks from the house.

After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, "Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age!"

********************************************************

• "Take a pencil and paper," the teacher said, "and write an essay with the title 'If I Were a Millionaire'"

Everyone but Philip, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously.

"What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?"

"I'm waiting for my secretary," he replied.

********************************************************

• Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?

A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

********************************************************

• Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal

********************************************************

Santa in Paris:

2009-02-08T06:24:00.001-08:00

Santa, furniture dealer decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip ever to the French capital), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a new range of furniture that he thought would sell well back home in India .

To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a pub and have a glass of wine. As he sat down enjoying his wine, soon enough, a very beautiful attractive young lady came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned towards the chair.

He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in Hindi, Punjabi & English, but she did not speak or know any of these languages. So, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her.
After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.
They left the pub and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.
Then, after they were back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a bed. Would you believe....

Till this day, Santa has no idea how she figured out that he was in the furniture business!!!! !

Letter is from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft

2009-01-27T21:40:00.000-08:00

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some
problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.

3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I
find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot
trace the key with this ' find'
button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

6. I brought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?

7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So
when will you keep my photo in that.

8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God shake please do not
provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,

Banta

Last
one from me to Mr Bill Gates :

Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?

Vector Illustration Wallpapers

2009-01-14T06:24:00.000-08:00

Vector Illustration Wallpapers

Vector Illustration Wallpapers

Vector Illustration Icons

Vector Illustration Images

Vector Illustration Wallpaper

Illustration Wallpapers

Illustration Icons

Vector Illustration Wallpapers

Google V/s Microsoft

2008-11-12T10:15:00.000-08:00

Google applied for incorporation as a business 10 years ago Thursday, according to a timeline supplied by the company. The application was accepted on Sept. 7, which is Sunday.

In that decade, the search engine company has quickly emerged as the most successful business on the Web, and many expect it to dominate the next era of computing as thoroughly as Microsoft dominated the era of personal computers.

Here's a quick snapshot of Google by the numbers along with some comparisons to Microsoft. The sources of the data are the companies, Yahoo Finance and comScore.

Google's age: 10

Microsoft's age: 33

Google's revenue in the last 4 quarters: $19.6 billion

Microsoft's revenue in the last 4 quarters: $60.4 billion

Microsoft's revenue at age 10: $140 million

($279 million in today’s dollars)

Google's revenue per hour in the last 4 quarters: $2.2 million

Microsoft's revenue per hour in the last 4 quarters: $6.9 million

Google's net income in the last 4 quarters: $4.85 billion

Microsoft's net income in the last 4 quarters: $17.6 billion

Google employees, as of June 30th: 19,604

Microsoft employees, as of May 31st: 89,809

Google's revenue per employee: $1 million

Microsoft's revenue per employee: $672,000

Market value of Google: $142 billion

Market value of Microsoft: $241 billion

Number of tech companies with a market value larger than Google's: 3 (Microsoft, I.B.M. and Apple, in that order)

Worldwide searches on Google in July: 48.7 billion

Worldwide searches on Microsoft in July: 2.3 billion

Worldwide searches per hour on Google in July: 65 million

Worldwide searches per hour on Microsoft in July: 3.1 million

Fun, funny Funniest Home Videos

2008-10-11T03:30:00.000-07:00

Good morning Greetings

2008-10-11T02:56:00.000-07:00

Banta Singh Letter To Bill Gates

2008-09-24T23:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. After connecting to Internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.

2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button.

3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.

4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run ' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.

5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug??

7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.

8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur money.

9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that?

Best regards,
Banta Singh.

Marketing Methods... So Funny

2008-09-24T05:39:00.000-07:00

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: "I am very rich.
"Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing... "

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a
gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and
pointing at you says: "He's very rich.
"Marry him." -That's Advertising. .."

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and get her telephone number. The next day, you
call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich.
"Marry me - That's Telemarketing. .."

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up
and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour
her a drink, you open the door (of the car)"Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations... "

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks
up to you and says:"You are very rich!
"Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition. .."

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you
a nice hard slap on your face. - "That's Customer Feedback..."

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she
introduces you to her husband. - "That's demand and supply gap..."

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before you say anything, another person come
and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she
goes with him - "That's competition eating into your market share..."

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your
wife arrives. - "That's restriction for entering new markets..."

Good Morning

2008-08-18T02:16:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,
I'm your angel;
Let's start this brand new day!
I'll add a bit of heaven,
to help you on your way.

I'll help you open sleepy eyes,
enable you to see,
sunshine-jewels in morning light,
so priceless,
yet they're free.

I'll cause the morning birds to sing,
and then I'll take their songs,
and place them all into your heart...
to cheer you all day long.

I'll help you find your lost car keys,
the work that you brought home...
and as your walking out the door,
you won't go out alone.

For I'll be right beside you...
breathe deep,
you'll feel me here.
I'm that invigorating tingle,
held in the morning air.

As you go about your day,
Please know that this is true...
There's nothing you can't overcome,
For I'll be there with you.

Husband & Wife..?

2008-08-18T02:12:00.000-07:00

Husband & Wife - Why divorce?
In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband." "But why ?" asked the judge. She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me." The judge asked, "How do you know ?" She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

Husband & Wife - Love Your Enemy
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Samy." "Samy! But he is your enemy !" "Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."

Husband & Wife - Wedding Ring
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? " The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

Husband & Wife - Why?
" Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms. " Why, Dad ? Tell me why!" Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."

Husband & Wife - Same Service
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking." "Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting the same service!"

Husband & Wife - Talk About Husband
One woman told another : "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him?"

Husband & Wife - Love To Do
A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I would love to." Replied the husband. "But I don't know her well enough."

Husband & Wife - No Answer Back
A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her." One of his friends asked."And when you are angry, what do you do?" The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.

Husband & Wife - Come Home Late
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him. "Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him. "Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?" The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."

Husband & Wife - Problem Father
"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?" He replied, "I'm going to be a father." "But that's wonderful," I said. "What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet.

A real Good English to Urdu :)

2008-08-14T08:57:00.000-07:00

Have a nice day! ---- Achcha din lo!
What's up? ----- Uppar kya hai?
You're kidding! ----- Tum bachcha bana rahe ho!
Don't kid me! ----- Mera bachcha mat banaao!
Yo, baby! What's up? ----- Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?
Cool man! ----- Thandaa aadmi!
Check this out, man! ---- Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!
Don't mess with me, dude. ----- Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.
She's so fine! ----- Who itnee baareek hai!
Listen buddy, that chick's mine, okay!? ----- Suno dost, who chooza mera hai, theek?
Hey good looking; what's cooking? ---- Arrey sundarta ki devi; kya pakaa rahee ho?
Are you nuts? ----- Kya aap akhrot hain?
Son of a gun. ----- Bachcha bandook ka.
Rock the party. ---- Party mein patthar feko.

And the best ones are.....

How do you do? ----- Kaise karte ho?
Keep in touch! ----- Chhoote Raho.
Lets hang out! ----- Chalo bahar latakte hain

HOW TO SAY? I LOVE U

2008-08-14T08:52:00.000-07:00

How to say
I Love You in 100 Languages

English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumem
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bengali - Ami tomake bhalobashi (pronounced: Amee toe-ma-kee bhalo-bashee)
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Catalan - T'estimo
Cherokee - Tsi ge yu i
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Chinese
Cantonese - Ngo oiy ney a
Mandarin - Wo ai ni
Comanche - U kamakutu nu
(pronounced oo----ka-ma- koo-too-- ---nu) -- Thx Tony
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Cree - Kisakihitin
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Elvish - Amin mela lle (from The Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien)
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Frisian - Ik hald fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia `oe
Hebrew
To female - "ani ohev otach" (said by male) "ohevet Otach" (said by female)
To male - "ani ohev otcha" (said by male) "Ohevet ot'cha" (said by female)
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru or Anata ga daisuki desu
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo or Nanun tangshinul sarang hamnida
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech gaer
Macedonian - Te Sakam
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Maltese - Inhobbok
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Ndebele - Niyakutanda
Norwegian
Bokmaal - Jeg elsker deg
Nyonrsk - Eg elskar deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing 'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai
To female - Phom rak khun
To male - Chan rak khun
Informal - Rak te
Tunisian - Ha eh bak
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese
To female - Anh ye^u em
To male - Em ye^u anh
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe
Zazi - Ezhele hezdege
Zuni - Tom ho' ichema

Funny SQL Queries & Store Procedure

2008-08-07T23:38:00.000-07:00

WeddingQuery. ....... ........ (SQL Style)

HUSBANDS QUERY

CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage (
BrideGroom Male (25) ,
Bride Female(20) )

AS
BEGIN

SELECT
Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE FatherInLaw = 'Millionaire'

AND Count(Car) > 20 AND HouseStatus ='ThreeStoreyed'
AND BrideEduStatus IN (B.TECH ,BE ,Degree ,MCA ,MiBA) AND Having Brothers= Null

AND Sisters =Null

SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalan ce

FROM FatherInLaw

UPDATE MyBankAccout

SETMyBal = MyBal + FatherInLawBal

UPDATE
MyLocker

SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherInLawGold

INSERT INTO
MyCarShed VALUES('BMW')
END
GO

Then the wife writes the below query:

DROP HUSBAND;
Commit;

Games Cheat Codes

2008-08-07T05:08:00.001-07:00

Max Payne Cheat Codes
To get access to the game console, you need to start maxpayne.exe with the command line parameter "-developer". Once you have the game running in developer mode, you get access to the game console with F12 and enter these codes:

coder - God Mode, All Weapons, Unlimited Ammo, etc.
God - God Mode
Mortal - Become Mortal
ShowFPS - Show FPS
NoClip - Fly Mode
NoClip_off - No Fly Mode
getbullettime - Fill Up When Bullet-Time Runs Out
showfps - Show Frame Rate
getpainkillers - Get 8 PainKillers
c_addhealth ( 100 ) - Add 100 to Health
GetAllWeapons - All Weapons
GetInfiniteAmmo - Infinite Ammo
jump10 - Jump Higher (set to 20 or 30 for even higher)
SetWoundedState - Walk as if Wounded
SetNormalState - Walk Normally
GetBaseballbat - Baseball Bat
GetBeretta - Beretta
GetBerettaDual (or GetDualBeretta) - Dual Berretas
GetDesertEagle - Desert Eagle
GetSawedShotgun - Shotgun #1
GetPumpShotgun - Shotgun #2
GetJackhammer - Jackhammer shotgun
GetIngram - Ingram
GetIngramDual (or GetDualIngram) - Dual Ingrams
GetMP5 - MP5
GetColtCommando - Colt Commando
GetMolotov - Molotov Cocktail
GetGrenade - Grenade
GetM79 - M79
GetSniper - Sniper Rifle
GetHealth - Health
GetPainkillers - Pain Killers
GetBulletTime - Fill up Bullet Time
Jump10 - Big Jump
Jump20 - BigBig Jump
Jump30 - BigBigBigJump
Inventory - Details of Player
Clr - Delete Line
Help - List Cheats

The following keys will be enabled also:

C - Cycle through three camera modes
PageUp - Cycle mesh up
PageDown - Cycle mesh down
Ctrl + PageUp - Cycle TextureSet up
Ctrl + PageDown - Cycle TextureSet down
Home - Increase game speed
End - Decrease game speed
Home + End - Set game speed to 1.00x (default speed)

Mobile Secret Codes

2008-08-07T05:06:00.000-07:00

Mobile Phone Codes
So do you want to know what version of software you have in your phone? IMEI number? I have compiled a list of secret codes for your mobile phone. With these codes, you can check the phone's IMEI, software version, reset to default language or even deactivate the simlock (*but only in some models). Some of codes listed below must be typed without the SIM card inserted in the mobile, and some with SIM card in the phone. Have Fun!

Alcatel
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Software version: * # 0 6 #
Net Monitor: 0 0 0 0 0 0 *
Bosch
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Default Language: * # 0 0 0 0 #
Net Monitor: * # 3 2 6 2 2 5 5 * 8 3 7 8 # #
Dancall
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Software version: * # 9 9 9 9 #
SIM card serial number: * # 9 9 9 4 #
Information about battery status: * # 9 9 9 0 #
Selftest (only Dancall HP2731): * # 9 9 9 7 #
Show version configuration: * # 9 9 9 8 #
Net Monitor: * # 9 9 9 3 #
Ericsson
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Software version: > * < < * < *
Default Language: <>
Enter to phone menu without SimCard - after Wrong PIN: press NO: * * 0 4 * 0 0 0 0 * 0 0 0 0 * 0 0 0 0 #
Information about SIMLOCK: < * * <
Motorola
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Net Monitor ON: * * * 1 1 3 * 1 * [OK]
Net Monitor OFF: * * * 1 1 3 * 1 * [OK] * - press this until box shown up
Nokia
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Software version: * # 0 0 0 0 #
Lub * # 9 9 9 9 #
Simlock info: * # 9 2 7 0 2 6 8 9 #
Enhanced Full Rate: * 3 3 7 0 # [ # 3 3 7 0 # off]
Half Rate: * 4 7 2 0 #
Provider lock status: # p w + 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 + 1
Network lock status: # p w + 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 + 2
Provider lock status: # p w + 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 + 3
SimCard lock status: # p w + 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 + 4 1234567890 -
MasterCode which is generated from IMEI *#92702689# [*#war0anty#] Warranty code.
Philips
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Simlock info: * # 8 3 7 7 #
Security code: * # 1 2 3 4 # (Fizz) or * # 7 4 8 9 #
Samsung (Most models)
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Software version: * # 9 9 9 9 #
Albo* # 0 8 3 7 #
Net Monitor: * # 0 3 2 4 #
Changing LCD contrast: * # 0 5 2 3 #
Memory info: * # 0 3 7 7 #
Albo * # 0 2 4 6 #
Reset CUSTOM memory: * 2 7 6 7 * 2 8 7 8 #
Battery state: * # 9 9 9 8 * 2 2 8 #
Alarm beeper: * # 9 9 9 8 * 2 8 9 #
Vibra test: * # 9 9 9 8 * 8 4 2 #
Samsung (T100 Specific Codes)
Battery status (capacity, voltage, temperature): * # 8 9 9 9 * 2 2 8 #
Program status: * # 8 9 9 9 * 2 4 6 #
Change Alarm Buzzer Frequency: * # 8 9 9 9 * 2 8 9 #
Debug screens: * # 8 9 9 9 * 3 2 4 #
Watchdog: * # 8 9 9 9 * 3 6 4 #
EEPROM Error Stack: * # 8 9 9 9 * 3 7 7 #
Trace Watchdog: * # 8 9 9 9 * 4 2 7 #
Change LCD contrast: * # 8 9 9 9 * 5 2 3 #
Jig detect: * # 8 9 9 9 * 5 4 4 #
Memory status: * # 8 9 9 9 * 6 3 6 #
SIM File Size: * # 8 9 9 9 * 7 4 6 #
SIM Service Table: * # 8 9 9 9 * 7 7 8 #
RTK (Run Time Kernel) errors: * # 8 9 9 9 * 7 8 5 #
Run, Last UP, Last DOWN: * # 8 9 9 9 * 7 8 6 #
Software Version: * # 8 9 9 9 * 8 3 7 #
Test Vibrator: * # 8 9 9 9 * 8 4 2 #
Vocoder Reg: * # 8 9 9 9 * 8 6 2 #
Diag: * # 8 9 9 9 * 8 7 2 #
Reset On Fatal Error: * # 8 9 9 9 * 9 4 7 #
Last/Chk: * # 8 9 9 9 * 9 9 9 #9 9 * 9 9 9 #
Sagem
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Service Menu access: MENU 5 1 1 #
Siemens
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Software version: Take out SIM & enter: * # 0 6 # (& press LONG KEY)
Bonus screen: in phone book: + 1 2 0 2 2 2 4 3 1 2 1
Net Monitor (S4 Power):
Menu 9 8, left SoftKey, 7 6 8 4 6 6 6, Read phone, Menu 5 6
Sony
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Software version: * # 8 3 7 7 4 6 6 #
Show list of product creator names: + 1 2 0 2 2 2 4 3 1 2 1
Sony Ericsson
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Software version: > * < < * < *
Default Language: <>
Enter to phone menu without SimCard - after Wrong PIN: press NO: * * 0 4 * 0 0 0 0 * 0 0 0 0 * 0 0 0 0 #

Software Engineer and his wife.

2008-08-05T23:53:00.000-07:00

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.

Wife - but I told you about it in morning.
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.

Wife - Ya ALLAH! forget it where's yoursalar.
Husband - fine in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife - at least give me your credit cart, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you..
Husband - date type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.

Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.

Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.

Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.

Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.

Wife - I will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.

Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.

Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.

Wife - I m going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer.

Drop Of Tear

2008-08-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

I just want one more day with you

I'm so sad and depressed
Is all I want to do is rest
I go to sleep at night
But my dreams I just can't fight

I think of you lying in that bed
And wonder if there is anything I could have said
I wish you were still here
But I know that you are still near

I love you more than you know
I just wish you didn't have to go
I just want one more day with you
And I know thats what you would have wanted too

I miss you more and more each day
There is so much more we had to say
I know I will see you again
But my life is just started to begin.

Drop Of Tear

A drop of tear came out and asked me,
Why you called me out?
Why are you so sad?
Why are you feeling lonely?
Why are you weeping?
Heart didn?t answered
Than drop said
Never call me out because
I want to live in you
Never feel lonely because
I am always with you
Never become sad because
Accepting me no one is yours
I was with you when you had born
I will be with you till death
When you weep, your eyes will become red
When eyes will become red than will be pain
If there will be pain than you will be sick
If you will be sick than you will die
So I don?t want to lose you because
I am yours and will be always yours
Ever and forever

Real Faces and Facts

2008-07-30T23:49:00.000-07:00

Interesting Body Facts

2008-07-30T23:46:00.001-07:00

The human body is a machine that is full of wonder. This collection of
human body facts will leave you wondering why we were designed the way we are.

1.Scientists say the higher your I.Q. The more you dream.

2.The largest cell in the human body is the female egg.

3.The smallest is the male sperm.

4.You use 200 muscles to take one step.

5.The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.

6.Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.

7.A pair of human feet contain 250,000 sweat glands.

8. A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.

9. The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.

10.The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the
Encyclopedia Britannica.

11.It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your
stomach.

12. The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.

13. Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis
of the liver than men with hair..

14. At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a
single cell.

15. There is about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

16. Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a
gallon of water to a boil.

17.. The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.

18.. Your teeth start developing (in your gums) 6 months before you are
born.

19. When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, they
do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.

20. Blondes have more hair than dark-haired people.

21. Your thumb is the same length as your nose.

22. At this very moment I know full well you are putting this last fact
to the test ... now remove your thumb from your nose and pass this on to
the friends you think might be interested in comparing their thumbs to their noses as well.

FriendShippppppp

2008-07-25T03:11:00.000-07:00

GOOGLE in Different Modes.....

2008-07-25T02:18:00.000-07:00

Google Music, Google Earth, Google Peace, Google Animal, Google Alian, Google Art, Google invention and more more and more...

Computer Dependency Test

2008-07-24T01:57:00.000-07:00

Here's a quick & very simple test for you to take. This just proves that we have become way too dependent on our computers.

Q: How Many Legs You Have?

To find out the answer, look down...
.
..
.
.
..
.
.
..
.
.
..
.
.
..
.
.
..
.
.
..
.
Look down, not scroll down!

Google Phone - World in your Hand

2008-07-22T23:12:00.000-07:00

Google Mobile Phones Coming (G Phone) Google has been lobbying the U.S. government for changes in wireless policy. While it did not achieve as much as it wanted in the planning for the upcoming 700 Mhz spectrum auction in January, it did push for the fact that consumers in the U.S. can buy any phone and use it on any carrier in the future. Meaning, that when the Gphone does drop, most likely you'll be albe to use it on any carrier you please. The Googlephone will most likely be 3G as well, which means video conferencing, yea you can't do that with the iPhone. For you iPhones users though, would this be enough to make you switch? The Observer of London is reporting that Google might be working with HTC and mobile/telecom giant Orange to build a Google Mobile Phone, which could possibly have Google softwa re inside the device, and would be able to do many of the web tasks smartly. The device, article speculates, could go on sale in 2008. (Of course, we would all have forgotten by then… if it doesn't happen.) Orange and Google, both declined to comment. Their plans centre on a branded Google phone, which would probably also carry Orange's logo. The device would not be revolutionary: manufactured by HTC, a Taiwanese firm specialising in smart phones and Personal Data Assistants (PDAs), it might have a screen similar to a video iPod. But it would have built-in Google software which would dramatically improve on the slow and cumbersome experience of surfing the web from a mobile handset.

Takia Kalaam Musharraf and Bush

2008-07-17T06:25:00.000-07:00

Chacha Wardi Pai Rakh

2008-07-17T06:08:00.000-07:00

Chacha wardi pai rakh
Kom noon thalley lai rakh
Chor lotery aasey pasay
Kher kher niklan tere hasay
Awam dey palley kuj na kasey
Kom noon inj satai rakh
Chacha wardi pai rakh

Char chaferay foji dissan
Wardi waley hasan wasan
Log awam roti noon tarsan
Tandoor zulm da tai rakh
Chacha wardi pai rakh

Danggar chor tere ne sajjan
Aggey pechey nassan bhajjan
Kom noon kha k vee na rajjan
Moran tey chor bethai rakh
Chacha wardi pai rakh

Naal tere seyasi beupari
Shuja’at,mushahid, farooq laghari
Sheeda talli,peja patwari
Loteyan noon yaar banai rakh
Chacha wardi pai rakh

Yaari bush de naal nibhai
Kom de muhn tey kalak lai
Aapey keeti jag hunsai
Sooli tey kom charhai rakh
Chacha wardi pai rakh

Apney bandey aap marwa k
Mawan de puttar gheyb kara k
Islam de na tey dhabba la k
Dozakh aap kamai rakh
Chacha wardi pai rakh

Arcade Games - Retro - Gyroball

2008-07-17T01:40:00.000-07:00

Arcade Games - Gaming Zone

2008-07-17T00:14:00.001-07:00

Rugby Challenge

Convert all the tries.

Play this free game now!!

Santa bought a new mobile. Funny

2008-07-16T22:52:00.001-07:00

Santa bought a new mobile.
He called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My Mobile No. has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610."

Santa : I am a Proud Santa, My son is in Medical College.
Banta : Really, what is he studying?
Santa : No he is not studying, they are Studying him.

Santa: What is Common between Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus?
Banta: All are Born on Government Holidays.

Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write for mother tongue?
Banta: Very long!

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi?

Banta was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What will you take 30 days or Rs.3000?
Banta: I think I'll take the money.

Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably might have got a lot of applause when he came out.
Santa: He never came out of the cage!

Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever
What comes first the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!

Teacher to Banta: Where were you born?
Banta : In Tiruvanantapuram.
Teacher : Spell it?
Banta : (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA.

Santa : People consider me as a GOD
Banta : How do you know??
Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD! You have came again.

Santa complained to Police : Sir all items are missing, except the TV in my house.
Police : Why did the thief not take the TV?
Santa : I was watching the TV.

Sardar Jokes Collection

2008-07-16T02:06:00.000-07:00

Witty Husband

A Sardarji, very proud of his humour used to say to his wife leaving for the office : 'Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa' . One day his wife fed up of this answered : ' Bye Bye, Doo Bacchon Ke Baap'. That ended the husband's witticisms.

Sweater

Mrs Kartar had bought a beautiful sweater for her husband . She sent it to her husband by parcel post along with a note. The note said : ' The buttons of the sweater are removed since they where too heavy and added to the postage . You will find them in the right hand pocket of the sweater

Waiter

Banta Singh went to eat in ramshackle hotel. To his surprise the waiter who came to serve him happened to be one of his classmate at school. Banta called him and said 'Aren't you ashamed of working in a seedy joint like this?' 'Not at all,' replied the classmate. 'I would be ashamed if I ate my meal here. I only work in this place.'

Beta

'Take me to the 10th floor,' said Banta Singh as he entered the lift of a high rise building. When the lift reached its destination, the liftman opened its gates and said, 'The 10th floor, beta.' 'Why did you call me beta?' demanded Banta Singh. 'I am not your son.' 'I called you beta because I brought you up,' replied the liftman.

Ticket Collector

The collector asked Banta Singh for his rail ticket. Banta Singh searched his pockets but could not find it. 'Never mind,' reassured the collector, ' I will take your word that you bought your ticket.' 'That is very kind of you,' replied Banta Singh, 'but if I don't find it, I want to know where to get off.'

Closed "Open Glass"

Santa Singh : 'Look Banta, what type of glasses they have made. The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it ?'
Banta Singh : 'Yes, that's funny. And even if you make a hole at the top, how will the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open?'

Answer in "Brief"

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'."

A Police Story

Three police squads , The Scotland Yard police , The NY Police and the Punjab Sardar brigade contest for the best police force ward . The judges lead them to the Gir forest of India and assign them the mission . He who captures an adult Lion and brings it back alive in the fastest time will be adjudged the best . First Scotland yard goes into the forest and comes back in half an hour with a Lion all tied up . Then the NY police go in and come back in 15 minutes with a tied up lion. Lastly the sardar brigade goes in . 15 minutes , half an hour , one hour goes and no sign of our saradrjis The judges give up and decide to search for them . They go into the forest . After some searching , they find the sardarjis all excitedly yelling near a tree . The sardarjis have tied up a big bear to a tree and one of them is shouting , "Bol tu sher Hai ! Saala Bol ! tu Sher Hai !! " (Admit that you are a lion! You are a lion).

Funny Jokers Video

2008-07-16T02:04:00.000-07:00

Future Rides

2008-07-16T01:59:00.000-07:00

BMW PRESETS

what our leaders did to Pakistan.

2008-07-12T22:43:00.000-07:00

What Everybody Has Done With Pakistan .

Quaid-E-Azam :
Islamic Republic Of Pakistan

Ayob Khan:
Army Republic Of Pakistan

Bhutto :
Peoples Party Of Pakistan

Yahya Khan:
What So Ever Divided By 2 Pakistan

Zia-Ul-Haq:
Jihad Republic Of Pakistan

Ghulam Ishaq Khan:
ISI Republic Of Pakistan

Moeen Qureshi :
Taxation Republic Of Pakistan

Benazir Bhutto :
Zardari Republic Of Pakistan

Nawaz Sharif:
Abba Jee & Sons Republic Of Pakistan

Gen. Pervez Musharraf :
Pakistan (Pvt). Ltd.

People of Pakistan :
Immigration From Pakistan

100 days of PPP Government

2008-07-12T22:41:00.001-07:00

When Bannu Singh Went to Buy a TV

2008-07-07T22:34:00.000-07:00

Funny Jokes

2008-07-06T03:28:00.001-07:00

WHY AM I MARRIED?

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished

.

A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

A young son asked,
"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

"A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death"

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."

The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."

Cool Words & Cool Meanings

2008-07-05T23:02:00.000-07:00

Cigarette:

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

**************************************

Love affairs:

Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.

**************************************

Marriage:

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

**************************************

Divorce:

Future tense of marriage

**************************************

Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the

minds of either.

**************************************

Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

**************************************

Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

**************************************

Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.. .

**************************************

Dictionary:

A place where divorce comes before marriage.

**************************************

Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

**************************************

Ecstasy:

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

**************************************

Classic:

A book which people praise, but do not read.

**************************************

Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

**************************************

Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

**************************************

Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

**************************************

Etc:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

**************************************

Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

**************************************

Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.

**************************************

Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.

**************************************

Philosopher:

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

**************************************

Diplomat:

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

**************************************

Opportunist:

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

**************************************

Optimist:

A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.

**************************************

Pessimist:

A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY

**************************************

Miser:

A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

**************************************

Father:

A banker provided by nature.

**************************************

Criminal:

A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

**************************************

Boss:

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

**************************************

Politician:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

**************************************

Doctor:

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

**************************************

Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft?

2008-07-02T03:03:00.001-07:00

Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft?

Letter from Lito to Mr. Bill Gates

Subject: Problems with my new computer....

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether

any 're

-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Mi crosoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will povide the remaining items?

6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,
Peter

Last one to Mr. Bill Gates:
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?

Aap ka leya : Jis ghari chaand namoodar hoa kerta hai

2008-07-01T22:59:00.000-07:00

jis ghari chaand namoodar hoa kerta hai...
kiya tujhe ae dil beemar hoa kerta hai...

log waisay hi nahin baatein banaya kerte...
kuchh na kuchh to pas-e-deewar hoa kerta hai...

haath apnon ka hoa kerta hai aksar shamil...
pusht se jab kabhi waar hoa kerta hai...

umar ka aakhri hissa ho kisi manzil per...
maut se barsar-e-pekaar hoa kerta hai...

jis ko mein hijar se tashbee diya kerta hoon...
jaan leva wohi azaar hoa kerta hai...

har cheez ki qeemat hai yaqeenan koi...
har zaroorat ka khareedar hoa kerta hai...

faisla qat-e-taaluq karo ya na karo...
pyaar to bas aik baar hoa kerta hai...

Google Logos

2008-07-01T02:09:00.000-07:00

The Worlds Longest Bike

2008-07-01T02:01:00.001-07:00

It has been to our attention that the longest bike in the world, officialy registered by Guiness record book is from Russia.It’s creator Oleg “Leshij” Rogov was from Tver city, a small town near Moscow city. He was a big biker fan since his childhood. One day he has got an idea to build the longest bike in the world, according to his own story “probably afterÂ he got too much Â beer inside”.

So after two years of planning and delaying he did it. He built the bike that was 31 feet 4 inches long (9 metres 57 cm). After the thing was ready he sent his claim to the Guiness book and got registered as longest bike in the world.

The saddest part of the story is that he got into accident and died this summer, still we have the photos of his creation, it would be some kind of tribute to him.

Cool Gadgets - Mobile

2008-06-25T04:44:00.000-07:00

Cool Friendship

2008-06-22T06:31:00.000-07:00

A TRUE FRIEND.

Accepts you as you are.

Believes in you.

Can never get enough of you.

Does not treat you bad.

Envisions the whole of you.

Forgives when you mess up some where.

Gives you the care en love you deserve.

Hates seeing you unhappy.

Impacts you positively.

Just likes being with you.

Keeps in touch all the time.

Loves you genuinely.

Makes your life complete.

Never lets you down.

Openly acknowledges you as a friend.

Prays for you all the time.

Questions you when youโ€�re wrong.

Respects you.

Sayโ€�s nice things about you.

Trusts in you.

Understands you.

Values you en ya friendship.

Walks besides you.

X-plains what you can not understand.

Yells when you canโ€�t hear.

Zaps your back to reality.

Two environments mixed up

2008-06-22T00:32:00.000-07:00

In case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this should make things a little bit clearer.

@ PRISON

You spend most of your time in a 10X10 cell

@ WORK

You spend most of your time in an 6X6 cubicle

@ PRISON

You get three meals a day, fully paid for

@ WORK

You get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it

@ PRISON

For good behavior, you get time off

@ WORK

For good behavior, you get more work

@ PRISON

The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you

@ WORK

You must carry a security card and open all the doors yourself

@ PRISON

You can watch TV and play games

@ WORK

You could get fired for watching TV and playing games

@ PRISON

You get your own toilet

@ WORK

You have to share the toilet with people who pee on the seat

@ PRISON

They allow your family and friends to visit

@ WORK

You aren't even supposed to speak to your family

@ PRISON

All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required

@ WORK

You must pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners

@ PRISON

You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out

@ WORK

You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars

@ PRISON

You must deal with sadistic wardens

@ WORK

They are called 'managers'

THERE IS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE.

2008-06-21T09:58:00.001-07:00

Google - Funny Code

2008-06-17T09:29:00.000-07:00

1. Go to Google.com

2. Click "images"

3. search " flowers" or any other word.

4. You will get a page with a lot of images thumb nailed.

5. Now delete the URL on the address bar

6. Copy the script down here, and paste it in your address bar !

javascript:R= 0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI= document.images ; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i

Press enter

And see the fun

Funny Pics

2008-06-17T09:18:00.000-07:00

Making friends !!!

2008-06-17T09:15:00.000-07:00

Making a million friends in not a miracle,
the miracle is to find a friend
who will stand by U
when a million are against U !!!

Men are Like?

2008-06-17T09:12:00.000-07:00

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Men are like....
1. Men are like Laxatives. They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Men are like Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like Weather. Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like Blenders. You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like Department Stores. Their clothes are always 1/2 off!

8. Men are like Government Bonds. They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like Snowstorms. You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like Parking Spots. All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Now send this to all the remarkable women you know, as well as to any understanding good-natured, fun kinda guys you might be lucky enough to know !!!!!!!!!!

Car operating system

2008-06-14T10:34:00.001-07:00

Car operating system

Bill's company made software to run a car.

Bill was taking a test ride of the car. Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.

Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.

A pop-up window appeared asking, "Are you sure you really want to stop?"

Before Bill could enter "Yes", there was a crash and the car caught fire.

In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.

He started shouting "F1! F1!" but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.

Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.

A message appeared on the screen, "An illegal function is performed.

All the window-panes of the car will be closed." Poor Bill died.

Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, "You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell."

Bill pleaded, "I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please."

Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.

*******

Loadshading main Sohagraat

2008-06-14T10:14:00.000-07:00

Future Rides

2008-06-14T10:11:00.001-07:00

Free Flash and PSD Templates Download

2008-06-11T06:48:00.000-07:00

DOWNLOAD FREE FLASH and PSD TEMPLATES
http://www.freetemplates.zxq.net

Free Web Templates Download

2008-06-11T06:45:00.000-07:00

DOWNLOAD FREE WEBSITE TEMPLATES
http://www.freetemplates.zxq.net

Display Visitor information on your site

2008-06-10T08:54:00.000-07:00

Karachi V/s K.E.S.C

2008-06-10T08:48:00.000-07:00

Fall in LOVE

2008-06-05T02:42:00.001-07:00

Pakistani Politics (Funny)

2008-06-02T23:08:00.000-07:00

QUICKEN SHORTCUTS

2008-05-31T08:03:00.000-07:00

I also publish a FREE newsletter called “Dr M’s Quicken Tip List” which, as the name implies, provides tips, information and secrets that I have collected over the years teaching this program , Quicken, the world’s most popular financial software. If you do not already subscribe and would care to receive this newsletter send an e-mail to me at marvw1@hotmail.com with SUBSCRIBE TO QUICKEN TIPS in the subject line.

If you also would like to subscribe to my other FREE newsletter called “Dr M's Computer Tips” in which I give lots of good information about computers, send an e-mail to me at: marvw1@hotmail.com with "SUBSCRIBE TO DRMCOMPUTERTIPS" in the subject line.

KEYBOARD SHORTCUTS

WINDOWS:

F1 = HELP
F2 - Renames a file. First Highlight file, then press F2
F5 = REFRESH (in Internet Explorer)
F6 = MOVES FROM PANEL TO PANEL (in Windows Explorer)
F7 = Spell Checker in Word Processor
Shift + F7 = Thesaurus
SHIFT + F10 is the same as a right mouse click
" + Double-Click My Computer Icon and Windows Explorer opens.
Ctrl + N = New
" + F = Find and Replace
" + M = Indents an entire paragraph
" + O = Open
" + S = Save
" + P = Print (In MS WORD it brings up the THESAURUS)
" + Z= Undo
" + A =opens account list (in QUICKEN)
" + A =select all IN A WORD PROCESSOR)
" + R = flip-Rotate
" + U = opens PORTFOLIO VIEW
" + W= stretch-skeW
" + Y = Security List
" + I = Invert (colors) (In Word Processor Toggles ITALIC on and off
" + B = Opens Bookmarks in your browser when you are on the Internet (In Word Processor Toggles BOLD
" + U = Toggles UNDERLINE on and off
" + ENTER = Starts new page with the text to the right of the cursor on the new page.
" + ESC opens START menu
" + TAB rotates through dialog boxes or combine this with SHIFT key to rotate in reverse
" + DEL = Deletes word to right of cursor
" + ALT + DEL displays the CLOSE PROGRAM dialog box (Or: END TASK) & allows ending stubborn task

ALT + underlined letter of menu item opens it
ALT + spacebar = Minimizes window that is highlited
ALT + ESC switches to the next window currently active in the taskbar
ALT + TAB togglesto a new active window with each touch of the TAB key
ALT + F4 closes current window. (or if on desktop, it brings up the SHUT DOWN screen.
ALT + spacebar + C Also closes current window

WINDOWS KEY + E opens Windows Explorer
" " + R opens RUN
" " + F " FIND
" + Pause/Break opens System Properties dialog box
" + M Minimizes All Windows

SHORTCUTS FOR LEFT-HANDED PEOPLE

Shift-Delete = Cut
Shift-Alt-Delete = Copy
Shift-Insert = Paste
Alt-Backspace = Undo

QUICKEN SHORTCUTS

M = Go to first day of month. Press M again and go to first day of previous month.
H = Go to last day of month. Press H again to keep going forward by 1 month eachg time.
T = Return to current date)

Transaction Shortcuts:

There are one-letter shortcuts to tell Quicken what type of transaction you're entering. After entering the date, when you're in the Number field, Just enter that first letter.

A is for ATM
D is for Deposit
E is for EFT or Electronic Funds Transfer, or Debit card transactions
N is for the Next check number (you'll also get this if you type the first numeral of that check number)
P is for Printing a check
T is for Transfer (to another of your own Quicken accounts)

In a "SPLIT" window of a checking account:

ALT + D = Insert, Delete or Clear All
" N = Next Line
" O = Closes Split Window

In an account that can hold one or more securities the ACTION column has these shortcuts. You can just enter the FIRST LETTER of the action you want. Eg.: to Buy enter "B", to Sell enter "S" and the complete action will be entered. If you want to Buy And Transfer (BUYX), enter the "B" and use the RIGHT ARROW KEY to get to the end of the word BUY and add an "X".

The same thing occurs in a checking account. In the NUMBER column (NUM) just insert the first letter of the desired transaction - "D" = DEPOSIT, "T" = TRANSFER, "N" = NEXT CHECK NUMBER, etc.

Ctrl+A: Account List
Ctrl+B: Backup
Ctrl+C: Category & Transfer List
Ctrl+H: View Loans window
Ctrl+J: Schedules Transaction List
Ctrl+L: Class List
Ctrl+O: Open a Quicken file
Ctrl+R: Register
Ctrl+T: Memorized Transaction List
Ctrl+U: Portfolio List
Ctrl+W: Write Checks
Ctrl+Y: Security List

_____________________________________________________________________

More General Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+C (Copy)
CTRL+X (Cut)
CTRL+V (Paste)
CTRL+Z (Undo)
DELETE (Delete)
SHIFT+DELETE (Delete the selected item permanently without placing the item in the Recycle Bin)
CTRL while dragging an item (Copy the selected item)
CTRL+SHIFT while dragging an item (Create a shortcut to the selected item)
F2 key (Rename the selected item)
CTRL+RIGHT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next word)
CTRL+LEFT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous word)
CTRL+DOWN ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next paragraph)
CTRL+UP ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous paragraph)
CTRL+SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Highlight a block of text)
SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Select more than one item in a window
or on the desktop, or select text in a document)
CTRL+A (Select all)
F3 key (Search for a file or a folder)
ALT+ENTER (View the properties for the selected item)
ALT+F4 (Close the active item, or quit the active program)
ALT+ENTER (Display the properties of the selected object)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Open the shortcut menu for the active window)
CTRL+F4 (Close the active document in programs that enable you to have
multiple documents open simultaneously)
ALT+TAB (Switch between the open items)
ALT+ESC (Cycle through items in the order that they had been opened)
F6 key (Cycle through the screen elements in a window or on the desktop)
F4 key (Display the Address bar list in My Computer or Windows Explorer)
SHIFT+F10 (Display the shortcut menu for the selected item)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the System menu for the active window)
CTRL+ESC (Display the Start menu)
ALT+Underlined letter in a menu name (Display the corresponding menu)
Underlined letter in a command name on an open menu (Perform the corresponding command)
F10 key (Activate the menu bar in the active program)
RIGHT ARROW (Open the next menu to the right, or open a submenu)
LEFT ARROW (Open the next menu to the left, or close a submenu)
F5 key (Update the active window)
BACKSPACE (View the folder one level up in My Computer or Windows Explorer)
ESC (Cancel the current task)
SHIFT when you insert a CD-ROM into the CD-ROM drive
(Prevent the CD-ROM from automatically playing)

Dialog Box Keyboard Shortcuts

CTRL+TAB (Move forward through the tabs)
CTRL+SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the tabs)
TAB (Move forward through the options)
SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the options)
ALT+Underlined letter (Perform the corresponding command or select the corresponding option)
ENTER (Perform the command for the active option or button)
SPACEBAR (Select or clear the check box if the active option is a check box)
Arrow keys (Select a button if the active option is a group of option buttons)
F1 key (Display Help)
F4 key (Display the items in the active list)
BACKSPACE (Open a folder one level up if a folder is selected in the Save As or Open dialog box)

Microsoft Natural Keyboard Shortcuts

Windows Logo (Display or hide the Start menu)
Windows Logo+BREAK (Display the System Properties dialog box)
Windows Logo+D (Display the desktop)
Windows Logo+M (Minimize all of the windows)
Windows Logo+SHIFT+M (Restore the minimized windows)
Windows Logo+E (Open My Computer)
Windows Logo+F (Search for a file or a folder)
CTRL+Windows Logo+F (Search for computers)
Windows Logo+F1 (Display Windows Help)
Windows Logo+ L (Lock the keyboard)
Windows Logo+R (Open the Run dialog box)
Windows Logo+U (Open Utility Manager)

Accessibility Keyboard Shortcuts

Right SHIFT for eight seconds (Switch FilterKeys either on or off)
Left ALT+left SHIFT+PRINT SCREEN (Switch High Contrast either on or off)
Left ALT+left SHIFT+NUM LOCK (Switch the MouseKeys either on or off)
SHIFT five times (Switch the StickyKeys either on or off)
NUM LOCK for five seconds (Switch the ToggleKeys either on or off)
Windows Logo +U (Open Utility Manager)
Windows Explorer Keyboard Shortcuts
END (Display the bottom of the active window)
HOME (Display the top of the active window)
NUM LOCK+Asterisk sign (*) (Display all of the subfolders that are under the selected folder)
NUM LOCK+Plus sign (+) (Display the contents of the selected folder)
NUM LOCK+Minus sign (-) (Collapse the selected folder)
LEFT ARROW (Collapse the current selection if it is expanded, or select the parent folder)
RIGHT ARROW (Display the current selection if it is collapsed, or select the first subfolder)

Shortcut Keys for Character Map

After you double-click a character on the grid of characters, you can move through the grid
by using the keyboard shortcuts:
RIGHT ARROW (Move to the right or to the beginning of the next line)
LEFT ARROW (Move to the left or to the end of the previous line)
UP ARROW (Move up one row)
DOWN ARROW (Move down one row)
PAGE UP (Move up one screen at a time)
PAGE DOWN (Move down one screen at a time)
HOME (Move to the beginning of the line)
END (Move to the end of the line)
CTRL+HOME (Move to the first character)
CTRL+END (Move to the last character)
SPACEBAR (Switch between Enlarged and Normal mode when a character is selected)
Microsoft Management Console (MMC) Main Window Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+O (Open a saved console)
CTRL+N (Open a new console)
CTRL+S (Save the open console)
CTRL+M (Add or remove a console item)
CTRL+W (Open a new window)
F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the MMC window menu)
ALT+F4 (Close the console)
ALT+A (Display the Action menu)
ALT+V (Display the View menu)
ALT+F (Display the File menu)
ALT+O (Display the Favorites menu)
MMC Console Window Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+P (Print the current page or active pane)
ALT+Minus sign (-) (Display the window menu for the active console window)
SHIFT+F10 (Display the Action shortcut menu for the selected item)
F1 key (Open the Help topic, if any, for the selected item)
F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)
CTRL+F10 (Maximize the active console window)
CTRL+F5 (Restore the active console window)
ALT+ENTER (Display the Properties dialog box, if any, for the selected item)
F2 key (Rename the selected item)
CTRL+F4 (Close the active console window. When a console has only one console window,
this shortcut closes the console)
Remote Desktop Connection Navigation
CTRL+ALT+END (Open the Microsoft Windows NT Security dialog box)
ALT+PAGE UP (Switch between programs from left to right)
ALT+PAGE DOWN (Switch between programs from right to left)
ALT+INSERT (Cycle through the programs in most recently used order)
ALT+HOME (Display the Start menu)
CTRL+ALT+BREAK (Switch the client computer between a window and a full screen)
ALT+DELETE (Display the Windows menu)
CTRL+ALT+Minus sign (-) (Place a snapshot of the active window in the client on the Terminal
server clipboard
and provide the same functionality as pressing PRINT SCREEN on a local computer.)
CTRL+ALT+Plus sign (+) (Place a snapshot of the entire client window area on the Terminal server
clipboard and provide the same functionality as pressing ALT+PRINT SCREEN on a local computer.)

Microsoft Internet Explorer Navigation

CTRL+B (Open the Organize Favorites dialog box)
CTRL+E (Open the Search bar)
CTRL+F (Start the Find utility)
CTRL+H (Open the History bar)
CTRL+I (Open the Favorites bar)
CTRL+L (Open the Open dialog box)
CTRL+N (Start another instance of the browser with the same Web address)
CTRL+O (Open the Open dialog box, the same as CTRL+L)
CTRL+P (Open the Print dialog box)
CTRL+R (Update the current Web page)
CTRL+W (Close the current window)

Even if U answer five questions its great...Feel proud...

2008-05-30T22:41:00.000-07:00

Even if U answer **five** questions its great...Feel proud...

1. What programming language is GOOGLE developed in?
2. What is the expansion of YAHOO?
3. What is the expansion of ADIDAS?
4. Expansion of Star as in Star TV Network?
5. What is expansion of "ICICI?"
6. What does "baker's dozen" signify?
7. The 1984-85 season. 2nd ODI between India and Pakistan at Sialkot - India 210/3 with
Vengsarkar 94*. Match abandoned. Why?
8. Who is the only man to have written the National Anthems for two different countries?
9. From what four word expression does the word `goodbye` derive?
10. How was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu better known?
11. Name the only other country to have got independence on Aug 15th?
12. Why was James Bond Associated with the Number 007?
13. Who faced the first ball in the first ever One day match?
14. Which cricketer played for South Africa before it was banned from international
Cricket and later represented Zimbabwe ?
15. The faces of which four Presidents are carved at Mt.Rushmore?
16. Which is the only country that is surrounded from all sides by only one country
(other than Vatican )?
17. Which is the only sport which is not allowed to play left handed?

HERE ARE THE ANSWERS

1. Google is written in Asynchronous Java-script and XML, or its acronym Ajax ..
2. Yet Another Hierarchy of Officious Oracle
3. ADIDAS- All Day I Dream About Sports
4. Satellite Television Asian Region
5. Industrial credit and Investments Corporation of India
6. A baker's dozen consists of 13 items - 1 more than the items in a normal dozen
7. That match was abandoned after people heard the news of Indira Gandhi being killed.
8. Rabindranath Tagore who wrote national anthem for two different countries one is Indian
'S National anthem and another one is for Bangladesh- (Amar Sonar* *Bangla)
9. Goodbye comes from the ex-pression: 'god be with you'.
10. Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu is none other Mother Teresa.
11. South Korea ..
12. Because 007 is the ISD code for Russia (or the USSR , as it was known during the cold war)
13. Geoffrey Boycott
14. John Traicos
15. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln
16. Lesotho surrounded from all sides by South Africa ..
17. Polo.

LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!

2008-05-26T03:22:00.001-07:00

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees
is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that
it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and
sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye
when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks,
"So, why is everything in order and so clean, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off,
you said,

"LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"

Cute, Sweet Kids Dresses

2008-05-21T23:23:00.000-07:00

World Police

2008-05-21T23:16:00.000-07:00

AMERICAN POLICE

RUSSIAN POLICE

CANADIAN POLICE

CHINIES POLICE

PAKISTANI POLICE

INDIAN POLICE

2008-05-20T11:46:00.000-07:00

George Bush Quotes:
Chew before you swallow.
On TV, about his passing out eating a pretzel
History is moving, and it will tend toward hope, or tend toward tragedy.
I think we agree, the past is over.
On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000
Whether we bring our enemies to justice or bring justice to our […]

Money
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967)

A Happy Marriage
“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”
Rodney Dangerfield

About the music business
“The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There’s also a negative side.”Hunter S. Thompson

I Can Only Please One Person a Day
I can only please one person a day. Today isn’t your day. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.

2008-05-20T11:40:00.000-07:00

CLICK ON ANY HORSE

Funny Cricket

2008-05-19T12:43:00.000-07:00

Funny Football

Famous Mothers, 12 Great Points

2008-05-19T12:26:00.000-07:00

COLUMBUS' MOTHER:
"I don't care what you've discovered,
you still could have written!"

MICHELANGELO' S MOTHER:
"Can't you paint on walls like other children?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to
get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER:
"All right, if you aren't hiding your report card
inside your jacket, take your hand out of
there and show me."

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER:
"Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you just
wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

MARY'S MOTHER:
"I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school,
but I would like to know how he got a
better grade than you."

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER:
"The next time I catch you throwing money across
the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the
electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER:
"I don't care where you think you have to go,
young man, midnight is past your curfew."

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER:
"But it's your senior picture.
Can't you do something about your hair?
OY! Styling gel, mousse, something... ?"

A Mother is Special...

A mother is special.
She's as soft and graceful as a butterfly,
yet as strong and courageous
as a grizzly bear.
Her heart is large enough to hold
everyone's pain and joy.
Her hands are always gentle and soothing.
Her arms are always warm and tender.
She works hard to make a
home feel like home,
and she strives to make life pleasant
and comfortable for those she loves.
She never fails to go that extra mile to
make the holidays happy and memorable.
Her job is the most difficult and
demanding ever known to any human being,
yet she's fully dedicated to the task.
She's always there for her family,
guiding them and keeping them safe from harm.
She owns a magical way to raise
spirits and make everything feel better.
And her sympathy, unselfishness
and forgiveness are unending.
All that anyone is or could ever hope to be
can be attributed to a mother.
She instills the teachings
that will last a lifetime.
She sows the seeds of virtue and morality,
and in the process, she opens up love
and vast horizons.
She's always watching and hoping that
her children's goals will have meaning.
She always listens and tries to understand
even when it's difficult to do so.
She's a true friend in every sense of the word.
She's noble and sublime,
and holds all the beauty of a golden day,
yet even during the storms,
she always shines bright like an evening star.
Her name should be honored well,
for she's the closest thing to God on earth.

[Marriage Joke &Who Is Real Teacher]

young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.
The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. "Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage. I love my fiancée, very much, but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my future wife will be put off by them."
"No problem," said dad, "all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed."
This seemed to be a workable solution.
The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up her mom.
"Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful."
"Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath in the morning."
"No, you don't understand. My morning breath is so bad, I'm afraid that my new husband will not want to sleep in the same room with me."
Her mother said simply, "Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you've brushed your teeth. Not a word," her mother affirmed. She thought it was certainly worth a try.
The loving couple were finally married in a beautiful ceremony. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well, until about six months later.
Shortly before dawn, the husband awoke with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searched the bed. This, of course, woke his bride who without thinking, immediately asked, "What on earth are you doing?"
"Oh, no!" he gasped in shock, "You've swallowed my sock!"

Who is real teacher !!! Student or Teacher ????

ONE NIGHT 4 MBA STUDENTS WERE BOOZING TILL LATE NIGHT AND DIDN'T
STUDY FOR THE TEST WHICH WAS SCHEDULED FOR THE NEXT DAY.
IN THE MORNING THEY THOUGHT OF A PLAN. THEY MADE THEMSELVES LOOK AS
DIRTY AND WEIRD AS THEY COULD WITH GREASE AND DIRT. THEY THEN WENT UP
TO THE DEAN AND SAID THAT THEY HAD GONE OUT TO A WEDDING LAST NIGHT
AND
ON THEIR RETURN THE TYRE OF THEIR CAR BURST AND THEY HAD TO PUSH THE
CAR ALL THE WAY BACK AND THAT THEY WERE IN NO CONDITION TO APPEAR FOR
THE TEST.
SO THE DEAN SAID THEY CAN HAVE THE RETEST AFTER 3 DAYS.THEY SAID THEY
WILL
BE READY BY THAT TIME. ON THE THIRD DAY THEY APPEARED BEFORE THE
DEAN.THE
DEAN SAID THAT THIS WAS A SPECIAL CONDITION TE ST. ALL FOUR WERE
REQUIRED
TO SIT IN SEPARATE CLASSROOMS FOR THE TEST. THEY ALL AGREED AS THEY
HAD
PREPARED WELL IN THE LAST THREE DAYS.
THE TEST CONSISTED OF 2 QUESTIONS WITH TOT AL OF 100 MARKS.

Q .1. YOUR NAME ............ ......... ....( 2 MARKS )
Q.2. WHICH TYRE BURST ............ ...( 98 MARKS ).

[20 Great Points]

1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash.

5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without...

but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

8. You can't buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.

9. True friends stab you in the front.

10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

Cricketer Wallpapers, Windows Wallpapers, Illustration Wallpapers, Prototype-Gaming Wallpapers, SMS

Cricketers Wallpapers

Windows 7 Wallpapers

45 Colorful Wallpapers

ANNO 1404 New Walllpaers

Resident Evil gaming wallpapers

Illustration Wallpapers

Prototype-Gaming-Wallpapers

Battlestations-Midway-Gaming Wallpapers

If windows were to be in Punjabi

ME and MY BOSS

Good Morning SMS

Sardar SMS Jokes

Funny Sayings - Jokes

Santa in Paris:

Letter is from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft

Vector Illustration Wallpapers

Google V/s Microsoft

Fun, funny Funniest Home Videos

Good morning Greetings

Banta Singh Letter To Bill Gates

Marketing Methods... So Funny

Good Morning

Husband & Wife..?

A real Good English to Urdu :)

HOW TO SAY? I LOVE U

Funny SQL Queries & Store Procedure

Games Cheat Codes

Mobile Secret Codes

Software Engineer and his wife.

Drop Of Tear

Real Faces and Facts

Interesting Body Facts

FriendShippppppp

GOOGLE in Different Modes.....

Computer Dependency Test

Google Phone - World in your Hand

Takia Kalaam Musharraf and Bush

Chacha Wardi Pai Rakh

Arcade Games - Retro - Gyroball

Arcade Games - Gaming Zone

Santa bought a new mobile. Funny

Sardar Jokes Collection

Witty Husband

Sweater

Waiter

Beta

Ticket Collector

Closed "Open Glass"

Answer in "Brief"

A Police Story

Funny Jokers Video

Future Rides

what our leaders did to Pakistan.

100 days of PPP Government

When Bannu Singh Went to Buy a TV

Funny Jokes

Cool Words & Cool Meanings

Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft?

Aap ka leya : Jis ghari chaand namoodar hoa kerta hai

jis ghari chaand namoodar hoa kerta hai... kiya tujhe ae dil beemar hoa kerta hai...

log waisay hi nahin baatein banaya kerte... kuchh na kuchh to pas-e-deewar hoa kerta hai...

haath apnon ka hoa kerta hai aksar shamil... pusht se jab kabhi waar hoa kerta hai...

umar ka aakhri hissa ho kisi manzil per... maut se barsar-e-pekaar hoa kerta hai...

jis ko mein hijar se tashbee diya kerta hoon... jaan leva wohi azaar hoa kerta hai...

har cheez ki qeemat hai yaqeenan koi... har zaroorat ka khareedar hoa kerta hai...

faisla qat-e-taaluq karo ya na karo... pyaar to bas aik baar hoa kerta hai...

Google Logos

The Worlds Longest Bike

Cool Gadgets - Mobile

Cool Friendship

Two environments mixed up

Advertisement

Google - Funny Code

Funny Pics

Making friends !!!

Men are Like?

Car operating system

Loadshading main Sohagraat

Future Rides

jis ghari chaand namoodar hoa kerta hai...
kiya tujhe ae dil beemar hoa kerta hai...

log waisay hi nahin baatein banaya kerte...
kuchh na kuchh to pas-e-deewar hoa kerta hai...

haath apnon ka hoa kerta hai aksar shamil...
pusht se jab kabhi waar hoa kerta hai...

umar ka aakhri hissa ho kisi manzil per...
maut se barsar-e-pekaar hoa kerta hai...

jis ko mein hijar se tashbee diya kerta hoon...
jaan leva wohi azaar hoa kerta hai...

har cheez ki qeemat hai yaqeenan koi...
har zaroorat ka khareedar hoa kerta hai...

faisla qat-e-taaluq karo ya na karo...
pyaar to bas aik baar hoa kerta hai...

Even if U answer five questions its great...Feel proud...